Love, be loved. Experience emotions. That is living. I cannot put into words when I say believe in yourself.Trust your decisions, no matter what others say. What's the worst that can happen? Pick yourself up and dust the dirt off. Cry out the pain. Maybe, intoxicate yourself. But in moments of abandonment - don't forget to ask for help. Don't forget to try to live.

This past weekend I went to a bar-b-q organized by some friends and you know what, it makes me feel all the less different and also I feel so much less upset about what has happened in the past days. Horrible night at Brix with men who only want to purchase sex or skinnier b***hes than me (that's not the point, the point is to "feel" wanted, not about buying me!) and also reminiscing on why I'm still single.

Okay, gotta cut me some slack - I have just been single for 7 months. So, it's not all that long and I have been getting a fair amount of attention from people I love. So all is good on the lovefront. But sometimes, I can beat myself up far too much.

So back to the story, I was at the bbq and then, as I walk up the stairs to the pit, I see this guy at the door and when our eyes met, it was KAZAAAM! Yup. I dated him when I returned from the US one summer 2 or 3 years ago, I don't even know if I still have that post - but in any case - I was like WTF IS THIS DUDE DOING HERE? in my head of course. Apparently I find out over conversations at the table that he's married to someone 24 and purrtyy - don't know how he got so lucky coz he just was ug-lee when I went on the date with him (who cares if he has a hot bod) and of course, I'm all jealous and shiz but here's the point I'm trying to make, they apparently got married coz he knocked her up! WTF!

In these moments, I pray to God that I am safe and sane without psychos in my life. My gut instinct might be peculiar but very very right. So folks, trust your gut.

So when you walk away from someone, know that it made your life better and that they're gonna f**k up someone else's life - so would you have stayed? Would you want to compromise your future (You can still have a future no matter what age you are!)? 

This is not the first time I've seen men come and go in my life - and for what reason? So that they can go f**k up other peoples' lives.

I did not say anything at the table - but I did tell the host that I was the girl two chairs down from him at Brix who was trying to talk to him but he ignored me (esp. when he liked me at the bbq table.) HA! 

Now that's a wrap, folks!

Legend: 

BRIX - High end classy bar/club at The Hyatt Singapore renowned for upper class hookers and the many white men who trawl for them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZFK4qCof5Y

I know that striving to be a celebrity means being quirky - but I really don't want to go down the lines of Tila Tequila and all that trashy stuff - I might have family living in the South and my teenage idol might've been Britney Spears - but really? Getting famous like this? I might reconsider my career decision.

ANYWAY, I AM GOING TO BE A REALITY TV STAR ON SINGAPORE TV!

So happy that I am finally getting a break! And being my own person - and after this, I want to host my own tv show, have my own sitcom and do everything American television does with a local flavor to it! Thank goodness for this blog being private! Because that means only YOU GUYS know of my plans!

Finally! Everything is working out and me being quirky finally has some fruition to it!

I will write soon, my loving, adoring, screaming-out-my-name fans.

Lots of love,

Jules xoxoxoxox